Let go and move on

How many time have you told yourself 

You want move on but couldn't?

And discover the thing that you really want to get rid of

and move on is the thing that you find right in front of your face everyday!

How many times have you told yourself that you have moved on from something

but the truth of the matter is that

you still are haunted by what is considered the ghost of the past!

But today tell all that goodbye

face all that you have been bothering you 

and tell it to disappear for good

YES 

take the courage today to face fearlessly your doubts of moving on

and move on

I doubted myself many times

but finally found myself capable of moving on 

(From what ever that was bothering me)

Its not about bitterness

but rather having the ability to make peace with the past

and completely move on

It has been a topic that was bothering me a lot

but thankfully i was able to just let it go

For real this time!

The importance of being Frank and Ernest

Yes!

It is of great importance to be Frank and Ernest too.

You may ask how can you be Frank and Ernest

I tell you it is easy

And you can learn a great deal from these two! 

You see Frank is actually "frank"

and Ernest is "Honest" 

(If you got the joke by now) 

Its almost impossible if you think about it for a second

to overcome human emotions and try to be frank and honest

That basically is the high price that you must pay if you are 

frank and honest with people 

As there is a thin line between what is considered appropriate to share

and disclose and what is inappropriate 

add to that also the fact that

if you prefer to be honest and frank with that person in private as compared to showing it openly

Yes the truth is quite an expensive and a rare commodity 

people would pay high prices to get the truth 

but most of the time people are looking for the convenient truth

rather than the hard truth

BUT STILL 

it always is important to be Frank and Ernest 

just not the exact and complete image of being Frank and Ernest

There is more to a person than just the first impression

Happy holidays and Merry Christmas everyone!

Remember those certain times in our lives when we meet a person for the very first time

And as time went by and situations got you both together

and had situations where you got to see more of this person

and then you came to the conclusion that this certain person goes by the collection of habits that he constantly dose!?

Or more accurately the "First impression" that they give out! 

Well i bet all of us had those!?

How many times i went by the first impression of a certain person

like once i got the first impression of a person who was in our gathering

being infamous for perfectionism 

i personally thought that this person will quite a challenge as a perfectionist

and will be much of an annoyance.

much to my assumption i was mistaken

Or how about that time

When i saw a person who seemed to be quite domineering and very vocal

of course i assumed that this person is quite a "tough cookie" 

who seems to also be a very pompous person as well

WRONG 

he was nothing of that.

That is true, if we do not posses knowledge of an anonymous thing

we tend to pass on harsh judgments 

but as we go along we discover there is more to a person than just

the first impression that they have!

So just remember 

first impression are never lasting!

give some time and see the person for who they are. 

Putting people on a pedestal ?

Lets begin this article with a story!

Once upon a time

 there was a naive dude 

who did not know much about the world 

or the happenings in it

One day he met a fellow who seemed well leveled

and quite an interesting person to share an intellectual conversation with

little by little 

there were a lot in common 

and there was a share of great conversation all along

little by little

things were discovered about this fellow person

little by little

new behaviors started to come up 

little by little 

this fellow started showing his true colors!

and they were certainly not pleasant colors

There was a great deal of apple polishing 

thinking that it was normal but it was wrong!

There was a great deal of admiration 

to a degree of honoring on a pedestal

which was also wrong!

however the mistake was done 

and it was conceded that 

this person was put on a pedestal 

but it was his wrong place!

Have you ever get that sort of situation?

Where a nice person comes along and you 

Act nice with them (Although it is fishy)

Treat them with love (Although they do not deserve it)

Yes we stumble upon that sort of people from time to time

Nice on the outside but questionable on the inside

But the main lesson one learns is that

NEVER

put a person on a pedestal no matter how well you think you may know them!

you may think that they are nice!

you may think that they are trustworthy

you may think many things

but never ever put them up!

it all comes down to the right expectations towards people

BUT

never ever put them on a pedestal!

only to know that they will fall is only heart wrenching moment.

You do what you need to do which is be nice!

but that is all that you can do from your side.

Good luck! 

Thank god for failure!

Yes why are you wondering?

I am grateful to failure!

Thank god it exists! And thank god we have it

Yes we hate loathsomely to fail 

or to be even subject to fail 

but failure is a blessing 

(Which of course is in disguise) 

not a a lot can recognize it.

Failure basically is the unsuccessful attempt in achieving something

Its natural that we have all that BIG goals and BIG dreams 

that we hope and wish to achieve one day

yet that ghost visits us and haunts us and then!

WHAM

you fall on the ground face down!

(i know that is harsh but that is just a figure of speech)

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO FAIL?

For these simple three points

Its important to fail in order for you to 

* Learn

* Grown

* Realize

- Learn- 

To have a better understanding of how things actually work!

- Grow -

To have a much more mature sense of life and a more sensible way of thinking

- Realize -

To be able to help you realize that you have something after all

But the main thing you need to also know about failure

is that it is a more than helpful INDICATOR

to make you REALIZE and from then on let you LEARN and then you head off to life and GROW

You need to taste failure to know success! 

When the brain loses logic

Let me confess to this problem that i have personally!

Oh my god ... stop doing that!

I should not think of this!

What if this happens?

What if that happens?

Well if this happens then this will happen

Well if that happens then that will happen 

I shouldn't be thinking about this

No i should be thinking about this!

Perhaps i am over thinking

No i am not over thinking

That dear readers is just a fragment of what happens in my head

What is that? 

You may ask 

And i answer you back and say 

It is a common problem shared between the most of us

Yes LOGIC departs our brain sometimes

That is true, it takes a flight to somewhere and leaves us to shambles 

and in a complete state of disaster

We cannot help it but be this way sometimes

We can say that its "Human Nature"

Yet we can choose the "MORE LOGICAL" 

way in dealing with such issues

Yes this will be a somewhat constant part of our lives

Having that particular moment of this "Mind chaos" 

Yet all can be controlled

How to control this mayhem?

The key here is LOGIC its self

* If you have a wild thought popping up fight it with logic!

* If you happen to have a negative thought fight it with logic!

Prove that thought wrong!

I do recall that i wrote previously how

over thinking can be devastating

and yes it can be devastating

I do remember a dear friend of mine how she had her own way in combating these sort of thought!

She chose to take a stand to her own brain and she decided to be decisive with it

( I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THAT THOUGHT AND I WILL STOP THIS SEQUENCE OF THOUGHTS) 

lets take control and be decisive with our brains!

Good luck ;)   

The fuel of persistence

Life is one of the many things that we seem to want to understand

Or try to want to know what we want from it 

Either way life is still a mystery to us all.

We see ourselves immersed into the things we do

we fall into that pit of routine  

Sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroad 

where we are forced to take up that one decision

And unfortunately we also sometimes see ourselves

at a place where we did not intend to be in.

no matter where we go in life

or how we go about in life

there is one thing that keeps us alive and that keeps us going!

That one thing that makes us wake up in the morning face the challenges of the day

and stand 10 feet tall 

You may ask what that thing is!?

And i tell you

its Dreams!

Your dreams, yes the things that we desire and internally screams out to us all 

wishing to be accomplished!

Yes dreams are the fuel of persistence in life

with all its challenges and hopes for a better tomorrow 

Dreams are the fuel that makes us want to grab that better tomorrow

and hope for it from today

But remember there is a price for this (Dream) that you would want to achieve

Will you be able to make it?

Only you can tell 

and only you can give the story

and hopefully achieve the dream that you always had

Remember in the end ...

Dreams are the fuel of persistence in life

and only YOU can keep the dream running and burning!

3 years and counting

Again celebrating a totally belated Birthday

A place where it all began

A place where i started writing and decided not to stop!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOG! 

NOT a life expert keeps on growing every year without me noticing it!

it all began back then in 2010!

and here we are at 2013 still going on.

no one can foretell the future 

all that one can do is live the present 

Just live in the present 

Just live in the moment!

Happy reading everyone! 

Never Postpone On A Decision

A new month come 

after a month of not writing anything 

SIDE NOTE

Its fine that you go away from doing something

breaking the routine and then getting back

Just to live life as it is in order to see and live life 

and then come back to be able to write! 

Its just like a vacation ! 

THE MAIN TOPIC

now back to the article and our main subject to express and share!

Never ever postpone on a decision in your life! 

Especially if its a decision that means happiness

although it sounds so direct but that is the point 

If you feel that there is something that is hindering you down

towards achieving what makes you happy 

never let it put you down and work towards your happiness 

and its something that is related to your happiness

always make a big stand towards your own happiness

And remember that you have the key to your own happiness

not anyone else 

no one will ever have or own your happiness 

you are the soul owner of your own happiness 

never hesitate on a decision that is related to it! 

Live on and keep on dreaming on =) 

Why can't i get over it

So you have been in a certain situation in your life

it effected you in either a good way or a bad way

and then it came up to some sort of an unwanted ending

so we can talk about break ups form relationships 

since it is relate-able

but there are also other life situation where it ended in an undesired way

 - The loss of a loved one (a thing that is quite drastic)

- Reaching the end of a job 

- Having to go through new changes in your personal life

- Having to get accommodated to uneasy changes 

All those are examples, of how can one go through an agonizing experience

of having a void left in their lives and hearts 

to have to recuperate and to have to (Get over it) and continue with life

there has been a lot of topics and articles that i have personally wrote and talked about

i would recall a few but then there comes an annoying bit in this issue ...

WHY CAN'T I GET OVER IT?

That is the main issue that is bothering all who are trying to move on

but cannot move on.

That is Normal of course, its totally acceptable to have this happening 

to move on from a painful experience needs time 

It needs devotion and attention, and to achieve it you need to really devote yourself 

and give time mainly! 

It will be a painstaking process 

one only dreams of the end result

but keeps his head on the ground 

so don't worry if you don't get over it !

No one can tell for sure when they are really over it

However it takes time to get there

 and there is no clear pathway or a magic potion that will ease it all up

so take time and give yourself some time to be able to go through it.

Good luck everyone =) 

Lies or disappointments?

Now this came across my mind the other day

as i thought thoroughly about this subject 

lets ask you all this question 

Would you like to be lied to ?

Or would you .... 

Prefer to face disappointments 

quite tough? No? Perhaps?

Might be challenging to ask, however some might also have a clear answer

some would prefer living a lie than to face a disappointment

some may have it the other way around, they prefer to face the disappointments

rather than face lies.

Lets do some definitions 

Disappointments 

The feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by fulfillment of expectations

Lies

Intentionally providing false statements

let put these terms both in a story 

a Superior gave his two subordinates a task to finish upon an agreed time

Subordinate (A) the lair

Subordinate (B) the disappointment

through out the process of delivering the task 

these two common replies whenever the boss asks them

Subordinate (A) -  "Yes all is well and i am in the right track"

 Subordinate (B) - "Well ... there are a few things missing that i must do"

and as this continued until the due date

when this happened

Subordinate (A) - "The objectives haven't been met yet the task has been accomplished"

Subordinate (B) - "The project is almost complete however some time is needed to really finish it up"

i guess you can clearly see what i am talking about

and no it is not a management lesson

the liar will find a way to always give an excuse 

and the disappointment will tell the truth (maybe not all the time- but that is another point)

Yes they both may have not done the task given to them

within the allotted time 

but each had their reply towards the task 

whether it was a lie or a truth 

so we still ask the question

Would you prefer to have a lie 

or a disappointment ?

If the disappointment (was the truth)

and was the one that came in first

i can safely say (according to what i think) 

is better 

than to live in that "Lie" 

 where i would have gone through a certain expectation that 

i would be believing that lie that it will happen

then the disappointment was to hit at a later stage

and it will hit even harder as a result 

(but what if the disappointment was a lie?)

that is another story to consider 

which is double the amount of it all 

best solution "never expect anything from anyone" 

or that is not always the best solution is it?

MORAL 

- sometimes its best to be disappointed rather to be lead on and lied to 

- sometimes its not always the better alternative to have when someone disappoints you

and lies in the same time !

at least that is what i think

But what do you all think?

Do share your thoughts 

obliterated faith in humanity

As this article may seem a bit dark and sad

yet it shed the light on a thing that seems more and more reoccurring these days

a close friend of mine and i sat together recently

and we both had a nostalgic conversation

bit by bit our conversations came along to bring some serious topics

we talked a lot about people who are around us

and we came to a conclusion 

but before we come to that conclusion lets go along bit by bit and see the stories that have been exchanged

between me and my friend.

---------------------

Its fun sometimes when you meet new people, especially how you find someone who you can share things with on an intellectual level, that is how i explained to him my story as i told him how i met this new "friend"

who also shares similar cultural background with me, i explained how we both had quite a fun conversation

at times and serious yet fruitful conversations

the thing that hurts the most is how all that changed all of a sudden, when it seemed as if 

it was a one night thing and then ...

the conversations stopped!

and everything changed, nothing as it used to be before

conversations found a dead end the minute it started

Hi ... hello ... how are you ... good!

and that is how i realized that this friendship ended

it was an awesome relationship where you thought

you found good people in this world

and that i felt maybe this relationship should have been honored rightfully 

by gifting it what it deserves !

only to find that maybe perhaps it was too much some how

such is life ... 

-----------------------------------------

The worst thing you find in life after finding out that you are preferred over someone else

is to discover that you are preferred over someone else in your family 

who actually is a bad person to begin with!

that is how my friend explained to me

how his family has been playing the preferring game

of one family member over him even though that preferred family member isn't a good person at all

and every time a conversation strikes up with this person 

there is the comparison thing going on
and the my friend is put under the spot light
compared to a bad person who is supposedly seen as good!

life really isn't fair ...

-------------------------------------------

Its funny, yet it is extremely "lame"
when you make new acquaintances and they become friends

its only after that nice part where things start to boil up and bring interesting
turn of events to the whole relationship

"Friends with certain interests"

personally speaking i have one in particular
who i have help countless of times
and it was a "GIGANTIC" sort of help

"financial help in times of trouble"

that would accurately describe the sort of help that i offered

but when the roles reversed and it was suppose to be "pay back time"
there was nothing but extreme foolishness
and a lesson which was learnt the hard way

knowing only in the end
that there are people who actually do that
who are only your friend when you are doing good
and only want something from you

and who wont skip a heart beat in leaving
when they feel that they should leave

i admit

i was foolish enough to think maybe they cared .....

------------------------

those stories and many more of those
which i am pretty sure you all have face one way or another
were you can relate to them

thus leading us all to ...

lose faith in humanity !

Critique vs. Critique

Intro definition 

Critique is a method of disciplined, systematic analysis of a written or oral discourse. Critique is commonly understood as fault finding and negative judgement, but it can also involve merit recognition, and in the philosophical tradition it also means a methodical practice of doubt.

so as the definition above sets the tone of my blog post/article / entry

thus we start talking about it.

the much hated word or methodology

(to critique something) 

people shy away from this generally because as the definition dictates

it is a method of (fault finding) 

and surely no one likes to be told of their faults plain out in the open 

yes there are people who will welcome such statements with open arms

as they portray the truth and actually has words to amend the person's wrong doings 

but lets differentiate it first

* The first type of critique is the helpful one

the one where the critic actually gives helpful advice in mending negative points

and actually  bring in the good points

we also know that as the (Good critique)

*the second one which we all faced at least once in our life

is the one that plainly points out the negative points with no guide or indication

as to what must be done to rectify such negative points

(a personal story to share) 

recently i have visited a toastmaster club as a part of an "extra activity" to do 

as the meeting commenced a speaker from the club decided to pin point a few things about me

what i recall from the (critique) as he called it that 

"i have a strange voice, which may not suite to be a public speaking voice"

at that point many things came to my mind, but i realized that this was the point

to talk about, so lets take this as an example and break it down to simpler points

1- while the person behind the critic wanted to give out his opinion 

he forgot how to really try and say it properly 

- its normal as we tend to not have that flow of thought between the mind and the mouth and that sometimes what may be said may not be taken seriously as it was not thought about properly!-

2- again the person did not think well into the statement or the critique itself 

as he only voice an opinion and did not give a solution or an amendment to the person

-again its normal for a person who has "lacking issues" or that he feels for some reason that he is threatened to just base his critique on just a issue without the need to amend- 

3- the choice of issue to critique was not thought of properly as one can only think

how can one improve their voice or change it (if that is ever possible)

 should they want to peruse public speaking

now we can see dear readers, this is a typical case of your second type of critique 

the one that just points out the problems and not even propose 

but lets not get to excited and bash that person that we have faced in our lives

they probably have their own (good intention) in its place to try and voice our their own concern 

albeit unhelpful !

it is very easy to take charge of this task of pointing our mistakes

as it is so humanly natural that we seek perfection even if it is on the expense of our fellow human beings

we bash them out openly, point out their flaws, and even discourage them openly for those negative points 

but it takes a lot to improve a person and to have the intention to make them achieve 

and improve !

of course what i all said is something of personal opinion 

but in the end of the day

if a person believes in themselves confidently 

no bad critique will ever shake them 

as much as we love pointing out negative points

lets also help in trying to correct those negative points

never be afraid of facing a critique even if it was wrongful

on your account

Don't tell me how to live my life !

Not so long ago, i had a gathering with old university friends

we chatted about our careers and life

and about how we are doing things in life 

and an "older" member of our group told us 

and i recall specifically 

"Don't follow the system, always be independent"

this was the first bit of what he said

the second bit followed like this

"Open up a business, it dose not matter what, as long as it is an earning business just take the initiative and open up that business, don't even bother if you are losing"

it was good in the first part and then WHAM that came in?

alright lets try to absorb it all in

1- Yes you have to have that fiery spirit and have the initiative to do new things in life

2- No you need to always be more cautious and careful in life

yes in life you should be active in seeking that "higher goal" that you always wanted to achieve in life

and learn independence and eventually achieve what ever goal

lets continue to the second part of this situation 

he then elaborated on how the system is unfair 

and how it really is never suited for anyone 

and of course IMPOSED what he thought was the right way to live life !

Okay now lets stop for one bit 

and let us talk on this point for a bit

and lets get back to our main point

Yes you can go ahead and follow what you want in your life 

However not whatever you may want to go after can have the right circumstances to achieve it

no this is not a statement to discourage anyone not to do what they want to do in life

but to look first before they leap 

and furthermore not everything might work for anyone

"thus you cannot tell anyone in life to do what they did, and you cannot order them how to live their lives!"

what happened for them suited them but may not suite you

and thus again you need to think twice

Don't tell me how to live my life  !!! 

This friendship officially costed me ....

Ever thought a friendship can bear a cost on you?

well ideally no it should not

any sort of relationship be it friendship or even a loving relationship

SHOULD NOT AT ANY WAY COST YOU A THING

but lets hold on to that thought for a second then move on to other points

what do we mean by (Cost) ?

well basically we mean the monetary value of cost

as in money cost

yes sometimes a relationship can have that "Costly" effect to it

what am i specifically talking about?

(Lending money and "I OWE YOU" situations)

that is one point which you should consider as the costs of a relationship

1- Having a relationship that will involve money and will drain you out of it

once it starts having that problem, its time to really reconsider if you want to continue with that relationship!

and a golden advice i got from the internet that clearly said

(If you lend your friend 50 bucks, and they don't give it back 

then it was worth that much of money) 

and lets move on to another point of cost, 

do you feel neglected? un-cared for? feeling like you are totally ignored in the relationship

while on the other hand you are the one that makes the effort in trying to be around?

then we come to the second point of "cost"

2- Having a relationship that drains you emotionally 

and that dose not only involve the intimate relationships

but even friendships 

*some forgets that there are really hard "friendships" 

that just keep effecting you negatively and that it has also a negative vibe 

*you have that one friend who always puts you down

*you have that one friend that always seems to ask more even when you cannot give!

*or that friendship that has no continuous follow up

if only one stops asking about the other communications stop all at once

and the relationship eventually subsides (as if that can actually happen !) 

* or having to endure verbal abuse from someone who claims to be a friend 

(even if it was out of joking only)

so to sum it all up

if any relation of any sort is costing you these two

1- waste in monetary resources

2- waste in emotional resources

consider seriously of having to somehow end that relationship 

and never ever put yourself in a position where it makes you feel awful or bad !

Emotional over boarding

Do you recall what i said about

being in a a hype of emotions

when you face that extreme sense of feeling

and emotions

when you can actually go to be extremely positive

or extremely negative 

it all comes down to that saying

"never do anything when you are mad

never do any promises when you are happy"

and they were true 

the human emotion sometimes can be so powerfully uncontrollable

and it can has its proven toll on the human body 

let me share a couple of examples of how one goes through an

emotional down turn and how they react

Situation 1

a person i know who is so goal oriented and determined 

to lose weight and gain a healthy fit body

he has weighed himself and discovered

that he was a bit behind of his overall goal 

and saw it as a setback thus making him feel sad

and as a result he decided to go take it all out 

on training himself and doing harsh exerciser 

Situation 2 

a friend of mine has gotten into a disagreement 

with his significant other, and somehow gotten into a fight with them

and as a result he felt agitated and took it all out on the things around him

he started slamming on doors as a way to vent out his anger

it was so intense that he even his nose bled as a result

so you can see by now sometimes 

one can go on an emotional overboard when they feel down

or even when they feel happy 

they can go extremely apparent in showing their happiness 

and as we also saw from those situations 

one can clearly show it as a side effect on their bodies

bottom line

once you know you can go on an emotional overboard

you can actually avoid it

and avoid the long term health implications that follow with that 

stay safe and stay healthy and stay positive too =)  

Discouragements and Discourages

Ever wondered how come it always happens this way?

ever wondered how it came to happen that there are certain people 

who would just like to "rain on your parade" ?

truth of the matter is that there are always people who are of that sort

people who are always out there to just discourage you 

meaning people who will always have a way to just say 

that what ever you will be doing it will never be good enough 

let me show you a couple of examples 

(personal example which by the way all happened to me) 

these examples are reflected on the fact that i joined a new company

and accepted a new work challenge, in turn these example are peoples reflections towards 

me working in this new company 

Example No.1

a social gathering takes place and a "very close relative" explains

to a guest where i am working at 

(Oh Hassan is working now at this "SMALL UNKNOWN" company)

Example No.2

another social gathering takes place at a cafe, old friends from university sit together

and we exchange conversations on where we are at life

then came the question where we are working at the moment

of course i reply back i started working in a company and started in this new field

as soon as i finished my sentence, a get a complete negative feedback of how

my field is completely "YUCKY" field and that it is completely useless so to speak  

nonetheless he kept on going with completely negative comments

not even a simple good luck that would have sufficed and made the conversation better

Of course after reflecting more into these situations

i thought more about this situation and about this matter 

of course one conclusion on this matter is that 

there will always be discouragements in life

and people who have it a habit in them to discourage others

another thing i have concluded from the matter is that

there are people who never achieved in their lives 

something substantial to be worth mentioning 

once others have reach a place

they discourage them 

BECAUSE

they never saw it in them to achieve

and be successful as you may be

of course other attributing factors to the previous point

is having envious jealousy as a byproduct of not being successful 

and not scoring an achievement

more accurately a "sore looser"

"a  sour grape" and the list goes on

but lets not shed the light on them negatively 

it is hard work and motivation that drives a person to be successful 

so for all those "people who discourage" i would like to just say

have you tried what you are discouraging of?

if not how are you basing your judgement?

moreover i would like to say maybe you are not trying hard enough ;) 

CONCLUSION

lets put it in simpler terms

Haters are always going to hate 

they will discourage you

put you down and tell you 

that what ever you are doing is not good

and that they are the best at what they do

its only there way in saying i am not good enough

and i decided to take it out on you !

Own up to the responsibility

Hello everyone

July came in, the summer got more intense 

and many more opportunities are coming in 

a story i would love to share with you dear readers, its an interesting way 

how the events fell into place

it started a couple of weeks ago, as a friend of mine was calling out

as he wanted me to help him with something 

it was a serious matter 

it was a mistake and as a result help was needed

after sorting things out and after things were sorted out

my friend seemed as if it did not bother him 

next thing was that he done some other mistake 

but it wasn't as serious as the first one

and after the second incident 

there had to be some sort of intervention 

or some way to tell this person (my friend) was that he is going on a roll down 

so recently there was a conversation going on between me and him

Yes i admit it was harsh (because it came out as judgment) 

SIDE LESSON : try to always convey the message more openly as people

may misinterpret it as in my case 

the person thought it was a harsh judgment passed on him 

but if it was not judgment passed by a friend it could be more worse

it would have been a judgment passed by people

and that sort of judgment could have been worse !

to continue along with the story, the main moral of it

was that the owner of the problems

did not seem to have grasped to concept of owning up the problems that he caused

as an attempt from him to try and explain how it is on his side

he tried to do an emotional blackmail 

and tried to play the guilt card 

saying that he already feels guilty enough deep inside him

IMPORTANT NOTE

of course you will feel guilty, because that is your conscious speaking 

it is the moving motive in what will make you grasp the fact

that you made a mistake 

and it will only go once you start making things right 

so that blame feeling is nothing but a way your mind

and heart speaking to you to make the right thing !

The lessons from our story

 (for those who would like to just skip to this part)

you make a mistake 

you feel the blame 

you own up to your mistake and take responsibility to it

yes your friend will judge you 

but would you rather listen to your friends judge you

or listen to a complete stranger slandering you?

When do you move on?

a question i contemplated many times today

as i was going through a phase at my life

i just got detached from something i thought would bring

probable joy to my life (or so i thought) 

we get to that ugly stage of (being wound up in mixed emotions)

you then figure things out

you re-evaluate yourself and recalculate what was it that you have been doing wrong

and then you decide to move on 

that was the thing that i went through 

i made my mistakes and i have re-calculated what i should be doing again in my life 

and then i decided that its time for me to move on !

Pretty natural isn't it?

how this cycle of progression is in life

Mistake - Realization - Correcting - Moving on

it's the last bit that was a bit confusing to me 

its somewhere along that process where you give yourself time

to heal and reflect and progress from the whole matter that you encountered

but sometimes you ask yourself 

When should i move on?

fact of the matter is

and as much as it sounds (obviously dumb)

There is no perfect time to move on

just like that decision you want to take on for a big project

like for example you tell yourself (I want to start a healthy lifestyle)

and then you think mostly about (when) you want to do that

and end up not doing it !

well here is what you need to know

there is not perfect timing to do things

if you discovered that you failed at when you started 

you discovered that it was a bad timing and you went back to square one

if you hit it off from the start then you know it was right all along !

never tell yourself i will start doing something next week, next month

or in the eve of the new year 

JUST DO IT (and no that is not a reference to Nike ads hehe)

make today the day where you decide to take that initiative 

and do that thing that you have always to (nonchalantly postpone) 

and the goals for this month were ... not achieved !

remember last month

when i decided on doing a (certain set of goals for a certain set of time)

which was conveniently titled 

and the goals for this month are

and in its second installment 

which dictated what are the goals in the second part of the series

part deux 

i am glad to say announce in this third part of this

series of blogs that 

i have not achieved most of what i said ! 

bummer isn't it?

well not quite

as it is normal for a goal which is somewhat vague 

and somewhat plain and not so specific to get lost in time 

where you have to achieve it and how to achieve it 

so sometimes its back to the drawing board

but what if the goal is clear and simple

and you cannot go any clearer than that ?

well then its a thing in the goal its self

that it needs or consumes time 

until it is achieved 

and if you are like me

what made me fall into this whole dilemma 

is the fact that i am recently not having much time 

however all this comes down to one thing

(its better to aim low and achieve than to aim high and not achieve)

and i can safely say that i have at least started with something 

which is started to eat right

all that is need is to follow up on that and all should remain in the right track !

emotional blackmail

we all know the normal blackmailing of a person don't we?

plainly its a situation where you have dirt on someone

and you take advantage of it, in exchange of something from them 

or mainly to comply with what they want 

and is there such a thing as (emotional blackmail)

surprisingly (obviously) Yes there is !

i have read it from a book 

(why men lie and women cry)

a whole chapter about (emotional blackmailing) 

and how sometimes people tend to lean on to it 

as a solution 

some may realize that they are doing it

some may not realize at all !

now as the definition above for black mail states

the same applies for (emotional blackmail)

but has different dimensions

lets take an example 

Joe and Sam are good friends, Joe tends to be the type of person that would 

have wild fun and sometimes just go crazy occasionally, one day as a result of one of his crazy night outs

he had a minor accident with his fathers expensive car, he approaches sam knowing he is his good friend

sam was at tight situation however he approached him and asked for help

at the beginning he resisted 

and said that he could not help out, he can gladly do so but he could not at that time

and then the glorious statement came in from Joe

( i cannot believe what i am hearing, if you were a good friend i would guess that you would have help out) 

that there is emotional blackmail 

know what is going on

* The victim : Sam

*offender : Joe

* cause (or what he wants) : cash to help out in joe's situation 

*weapon of use : feelings and the friendship the two have together

usually it can also go through the threat of not going to give more emotions

or devotion towards the relationship

and i believe some of us if not most of us

have faced such issues

now that you know it

you can actually work to counter it !

and to avoid 

Love yourself 

(since you would know your self and know you are over all a good person and that

what ever it is happening at that time is just something that was beyond your reach)

stay logical

(of course if one and one is two, it will stay that way no one can ever invent an answer

that is beyond understanding or an answer that is unreasonable)

and good luck to you all :) 

confessions of a young adult

lately i have been toying with the idea of this 

confessional about something that has bothered me 

for quite some time 

as i was thinking about it many thinks came into place

and each and every single idea formed the big picture

just like assembling jigsaw puzzles 

as i was roaming aimlessly through the internet

i came across this captioned picture which was from 

the (daily what) website 

it hit me quite direct that it was true

when we go into university 

we suffer supposedly from the whole system 

how we need to meet up with deadlines and finish projects

and presentations and try and finish up assignments

and the worst monster of all that you need to battle

are exams and quizzes

at that point we only realize that as the main problem that we are facing in our life

and that there is only one objective tied within that (problem that we are facing)

in order to get through it we need to work hard

to eventually (Graduate) 

and then after that is over 

we begin a new chapter 

which is (real world) 

and so at that point it also hit me 

that the teachers and the professors and the instructors

who you pass by at university 

don't actually teach you anything about life !

even though at a certain level 

i would like to believe that they did teach something 

related to life which is working under pressure and dealing with deadlines

that could be something related to (the real world)

but the majority of things that we face in life

are somethings that we learn on the spot

when things happen

and University or (higher level education) has nothing to do with it

clearly the way it is seen is just as relating to the picture

(getting through the easiest part of life) 

 my teachers taught me all about (Marketing) which was my major

they taught me about the market and how to understand it 

and how things go around and what you should do and not do

yes again ... 

Higher education teaches you things about the career you want to go into

but not the things that go behind the curtain 

which are the real things that occur in life

like for example me personally

i have went from one work place to another

in order to try and figure things out

never did i know that life actually can go like this captioned picture (meme)

which i also saw on the web 

courtesy of 9gag (LOL)

as a young adult i know for a fact 

that i personally don't know what i will face in my life

and in my future

for no one has the answers to anything in life

no one knows how things will fall into place

as they fall into place through a divine order 

which we can never really figure out !

but i really do wish that if my education 

geared me more towards handling such situations

yet in life 

i know for sure

you won't be geared for any situation 

unless you face that situation that makes you gear up

to avoid it happening any other time again in the future !

such is life ...