When do you move on?

a question i contemplated many times today

as i was going through a phase at my life

i just got detached from something i thought would bring

probable joy to my life (or so i thought) 

we get to that ugly stage of (being wound up in mixed emotions)

you then figure things out

you re-evaluate yourself and recalculate what was it that you have been doing wrong

and then you decide to move on 

that was the thing that i went through 

i made my mistakes and i have re-calculated what i should be doing again in my life 

and then i decided that its time for me to move on !

Pretty natural isn't it?

how this cycle of progression is in life

Mistake - Realization - Correcting - Moving on

it's the last bit that was a bit confusing to me 

its somewhere along that process where you give yourself time

to heal and reflect and progress from the whole matter that you encountered

but sometimes you ask yourself 

When should i move on?

fact of the matter is

and as much as it sounds (obviously dumb)

There is no perfect time to move on

just like that decision you want to take on for a big project

like for example you tell yourself (I want to start a healthy lifestyle)

and then you think mostly about (when) you want to do that

and end up not doing it !

well here is what you need to know

there is not perfect timing to do things

if you discovered that you failed at when you started 

you discovered that it was a bad timing and you went back to square one

if you hit it off from the start then you know it was right all along !

never tell yourself i will start doing something next week, next month

or in the eve of the new year 

JUST DO IT (and no that is not a reference to Nike ads hehe)

make today the day where you decide to take that initiative 

and do that thing that you have always to (nonchalantly postpone) 

and the goals for this month were ... not achieved !

remember last month

when i decided on doing a (certain set of goals for a certain set of time)

which was conveniently titled 

and the goals for this month are

and in its second installment 

which dictated what are the goals in the second part of the series

part deux 

i am glad to say announce in this third part of this

series of blogs that 

i have not achieved most of what i said ! 

bummer isn't it?

well not quite

as it is normal for a goal which is somewhat vague 

and somewhat plain and not so specific to get lost in time 

where you have to achieve it and how to achieve it 

so sometimes its back to the drawing board

but what if the goal is clear and simple

and you cannot go any clearer than that ?

well then its a thing in the goal its self

that it needs or consumes time 

until it is achieved 

and if you are like me

what made me fall into this whole dilemma 

is the fact that i am recently not having much time 

however all this comes down to one thing

(its better to aim low and achieve than to aim high and not achieve)

and i can safely say that i have at least started with something 

which is started to eat right

all that is need is to follow up on that and all should remain in the right track !

emotional blackmail

we all know the normal blackmailing of a person don't we?

plainly its a situation where you have dirt on someone

and you take advantage of it, in exchange of something from them 

or mainly to comply with what they want 

and is there such a thing as (emotional blackmail)

surprisingly (obviously) Yes there is !

i have read it from a book 

(why men lie and women cry)

a whole chapter about (emotional blackmailing) 

and how sometimes people tend to lean on to it 

as a solution 

some may realize that they are doing it

some may not realize at all !

now as the definition above for black mail states

the same applies for (emotional blackmail)

but has different dimensions

lets take an example 

Joe and Sam are good friends, Joe tends to be the type of person that would 

have wild fun and sometimes just go crazy occasionally, one day as a result of one of his crazy night outs

he had a minor accident with his fathers expensive car, he approaches sam knowing he is his good friend

sam was at tight situation however he approached him and asked for help

at the beginning he resisted 

and said that he could not help out, he can gladly do so but he could not at that time

and then the glorious statement came in from Joe

( i cannot believe what i am hearing, if you were a good friend i would guess that you would have help out) 

that there is emotional blackmail 

know what is going on

* The victim : Sam

*offender : Joe

* cause (or what he wants) : cash to help out in joe's situation 

*weapon of use : feelings and the friendship the two have together

usually it can also go through the threat of not going to give more emotions

or devotion towards the relationship

and i believe some of us if not most of us

have faced such issues

now that you know it

you can actually work to counter it !

and to avoid 

Love yourself 

(since you would know your self and know you are over all a good person and that

what ever it is happening at that time is just something that was beyond your reach)

stay logical

(of course if one and one is two, it will stay that way no one can ever invent an answer

that is beyond understanding or an answer that is unreasonable)

and good luck to you all :)