Critique vs. Critique

Intro definition 

Critique is a method of disciplined, systematic analysis of a written or oral discourse. Critique is commonly understood as fault finding and negative judgement, but it can also involve merit recognition, and in the philosophical tradition it also means a methodical practice of doubt.

so as the definition above sets the tone of my blog post/article / entry

thus we start talking about it.

the much hated word or methodology

(to critique something) 

people shy away from this generally because as the definition dictates

it is a method of (fault finding) 

and surely no one likes to be told of their faults plain out in the open 

yes there are people who will welcome such statements with open arms

as they portray the truth and actually has words to amend the person's wrong doings 

but lets differentiate it first

* The first type of critique is the helpful one

the one where the critic actually gives helpful advice in mending negative points

and actually  bring in the good points

we also know that as the (Good critique)

*the second one which we all faced at least once in our life

is the one that plainly points out the negative points with no guide or indication

as to what must be done to rectify such negative points

(a personal story to share) 

recently i have visited a toastmaster club as a part of an "extra activity" to do 

as the meeting commenced a speaker from the club decided to pin point a few things about me

what i recall from the (critique) as he called it that 

"i have a strange voice, which may not suite to be a public speaking voice"

at that point many things came to my mind, but i realized that this was the point

to talk about, so lets take this as an example and break it down to simpler points

1- while the person behind the critic wanted to give out his opinion 

he forgot how to really try and say it properly 

- its normal as we tend to not have that flow of thought between the mind and the mouth and that sometimes what may be said may not be taken seriously as it was not thought about properly!-

2- again the person did not think well into the statement or the critique itself 

as he only voice an opinion and did not give a solution or an amendment to the person

-again its normal for a person who has "lacking issues" or that he feels for some reason that he is threatened to just base his critique on just a issue without the need to amend- 

3- the choice of issue to critique was not thought of properly as one can only think

how can one improve their voice or change it (if that is ever possible)

 should they want to peruse public speaking

now we can see dear readers, this is a typical case of your second type of critique 

the one that just points out the problems and not even propose 

but lets not get to excited and bash that person that we have faced in our lives

they probably have their own (good intention) in its place to try and voice our their own concern 

albeit unhelpful !

it is very easy to take charge of this task of pointing our mistakes

as it is so humanly natural that we seek perfection even if it is on the expense of our fellow human beings

we bash them out openly, point out their flaws, and even discourage them openly for those negative points 

but it takes a lot to improve a person and to have the intention to make them achieve 

and improve !

of course what i all said is something of personal opinion 

but in the end of the day

if a person believes in themselves confidently 

no bad critique will ever shake them 

as much as we love pointing out negative points

lets also help in trying to correct those negative points

never be afraid of facing a critique even if it was wrongful

on your account

Don't tell me how to live my life !

Not so long ago, i had a gathering with old university friends

we chatted about our careers and life

and about how we are doing things in life 

and an "older" member of our group told us 

and i recall specifically 

"Don't follow the system, always be independent"

this was the first bit of what he said

the second bit followed like this

"Open up a business, it dose not matter what, as long as it is an earning business just take the initiative and open up that business, don't even bother if you are losing"

it was good in the first part and then WHAM that came in?

alright lets try to absorb it all in

1- Yes you have to have that fiery spirit and have the initiative to do new things in life

2- No you need to always be more cautious and careful in life

yes in life you should be active in seeking that "higher goal" that you always wanted to achieve in life

and learn independence and eventually achieve what ever goal

lets continue to the second part of this situation 

he then elaborated on how the system is unfair 

and how it really is never suited for anyone 

and of course IMPOSED what he thought was the right way to live life !

Okay now lets stop for one bit 

and let us talk on this point for a bit

and lets get back to our main point

Yes you can go ahead and follow what you want in your life 

However not whatever you may want to go after can have the right circumstances to achieve it

no this is not a statement to discourage anyone not to do what they want to do in life

but to look first before they leap 

and furthermore not everything might work for anyone

"thus you cannot tell anyone in life to do what they did, and you cannot order them how to live their lives!"

what happened for them suited them but may not suite you

and thus again you need to think twice

Don't tell me how to live my life  !!! 

This friendship officially costed me ....

Ever thought a friendship can bear a cost on you?

well ideally no it should not

any sort of relationship be it friendship or even a loving relationship

SHOULD NOT AT ANY WAY COST YOU A THING

but lets hold on to that thought for a second then move on to other points

what do we mean by (Cost) ?

well basically we mean the monetary value of cost

as in money cost

yes sometimes a relationship can have that "Costly" effect to it

what am i specifically talking about?

(Lending money and "I OWE YOU" situations)

that is one point which you should consider as the costs of a relationship

1- Having a relationship that will involve money and will drain you out of it

once it starts having that problem, its time to really reconsider if you want to continue with that relationship!

and a golden advice i got from the internet that clearly said

(If you lend your friend 50 bucks, and they don't give it back 

then it was worth that much of money) 

and lets move on to another point of cost, 

do you feel neglected? un-cared for? feeling like you are totally ignored in the relationship

while on the other hand you are the one that makes the effort in trying to be around?

then we come to the second point of "cost"

2- Having a relationship that drains you emotionally 

and that dose not only involve the intimate relationships

but even friendships 

*some forgets that there are really hard "friendships" 

that just keep effecting you negatively and that it has also a negative vibe 

*you have that one friend who always puts you down

*you have that one friend that always seems to ask more even when you cannot give!

*or that friendship that has no continuous follow up

if only one stops asking about the other communications stop all at once

and the relationship eventually subsides (as if that can actually happen !) 

* or having to endure verbal abuse from someone who claims to be a friend 

(even if it was out of joking only)

so to sum it all up

if any relation of any sort is costing you these two

1- waste in monetary resources

2- waste in emotional resources

consider seriously of having to somehow end that relationship 

and never ever put yourself in a position where it makes you feel awful or bad !