When do you move on?

a question i contemplated many times today

as i was going through a phase at my life

i just got detached from something i thought would bring

probable joy to my life (or so i thought) 

we get to that ugly stage of (being wound up in mixed emotions)

you then figure things out

you re-evaluate yourself and recalculate what was it that you have been doing wrong

and then you decide to move on 

that was the thing that i went through 

i made my mistakes and i have re-calculated what i should be doing again in my life 

and then i decided that its time for me to move on !

Pretty natural isn't it?

how this cycle of progression is in life

Mistake - Realization - Correcting - Moving on

it's the last bit that was a bit confusing to me 

its somewhere along that process where you give yourself time

to heal and reflect and progress from the whole matter that you encountered

but sometimes you ask yourself 

When should i move on?

fact of the matter is

and as much as it sounds (obviously dumb)

There is no perfect time to move on

just like that decision you want to take on for a big project

like for example you tell yourself (I want to start a healthy lifestyle)

and then you think mostly about (when) you want to do that

and end up not doing it !

well here is what you need to know

there is not perfect timing to do things

if you discovered that you failed at when you started 

you discovered that it was a bad timing and you went back to square one

if you hit it off from the start then you know it was right all along !

never tell yourself i will start doing something next week, next month

or in the eve of the new year 

JUST DO IT (and no that is not a reference to Nike ads hehe)

make today the day where you decide to take that initiative 

and do that thing that you have always to (nonchalantly postpone) 

and the goals for this month were ... not achieved !

remember last month

when i decided on doing a (certain set of goals for a certain set of time)

which was conveniently titled 

and the goals for this month are

and in its second installment 

which dictated what are the goals in the second part of the series

part deux 

i am glad to say announce in this third part of this

series of blogs that 

i have not achieved most of what i said ! 

bummer isn't it?

well not quite

as it is normal for a goal which is somewhat vague 

and somewhat plain and not so specific to get lost in time 

where you have to achieve it and how to achieve it 

so sometimes its back to the drawing board

but what if the goal is clear and simple

and you cannot go any clearer than that ?

well then its a thing in the goal its self

that it needs or consumes time 

until it is achieved 

and if you are like me

what made me fall into this whole dilemma 

is the fact that i am recently not having much time 

however all this comes down to one thing

(its better to aim low and achieve than to aim high and not achieve)

and i can safely say that i have at least started with something 

which is started to eat right

all that is need is to follow up on that and all should remain in the right track !

emotional blackmail

we all know the normal blackmailing of a person don't we?

plainly its a situation where you have dirt on someone

and you take advantage of it, in exchange of something from them 

or mainly to comply with what they want 

and is there such a thing as (emotional blackmail)

surprisingly (obviously) Yes there is !

i have read it from a book 

(why men lie and women cry)

a whole chapter about (emotional blackmailing) 

and how sometimes people tend to lean on to it 

as a solution 

some may realize that they are doing it

some may not realize at all !

now as the definition above for black mail states

the same applies for (emotional blackmail)

but has different dimensions

lets take an example 

Joe and Sam are good friends, Joe tends to be the type of person that would 

have wild fun and sometimes just go crazy occasionally, one day as a result of one of his crazy night outs

he had a minor accident with his fathers expensive car, he approaches sam knowing he is his good friend

sam was at tight situation however he approached him and asked for help

at the beginning he resisted 

and said that he could not help out, he can gladly do so but he could not at that time

and then the glorious statement came in from Joe

( i cannot believe what i am hearing, if you were a good friend i would guess that you would have help out) 

that there is emotional blackmail 

know what is going on

* The victim : Sam

*offender : Joe

* cause (or what he wants) : cash to help out in joe's situation 

*weapon of use : feelings and the friendship the two have together

usually it can also go through the threat of not going to give more emotions

or devotion towards the relationship

and i believe some of us if not most of us

have faced such issues

now that you know it

you can actually work to counter it !

and to avoid 

Love yourself 

(since you would know your self and know you are over all a good person and that

what ever it is happening at that time is just something that was beyond your reach)

stay logical

(of course if one and one is two, it will stay that way no one can ever invent an answer

that is beyond understanding or an answer that is unreasonable)

and good luck to you all :) 

confessions of a young adult

lately i have been toying with the idea of this 

confessional about something that has bothered me 

for quite some time 

as i was thinking about it many thinks came into place

and each and every single idea formed the big picture

just like assembling jigsaw puzzles 

as i was roaming aimlessly through the internet

i came across this captioned picture which was from 

the (daily what) website 

it hit me quite direct that it was true

when we go into university 

we suffer supposedly from the whole system 

how we need to meet up with deadlines and finish projects

and presentations and try and finish up assignments

and the worst monster of all that you need to battle

are exams and quizzes

at that point we only realize that as the main problem that we are facing in our life

and that there is only one objective tied within that (problem that we are facing)

in order to get through it we need to work hard

to eventually (Graduate) 

and then after that is over 

we begin a new chapter 

which is (real world) 

and so at that point it also hit me 

that the teachers and the professors and the instructors

who you pass by at university 

don't actually teach you anything about life !

even though at a certain level 

i would like to believe that they did teach something 

related to life which is working under pressure and dealing with deadlines

that could be something related to (the real world)

but the majority of things that we face in life

are somethings that we learn on the spot

when things happen

and University or (higher level education) has nothing to do with it

clearly the way it is seen is just as relating to the picture

(getting through the easiest part of life) 

 my teachers taught me all about (Marketing) which was my major

they taught me about the market and how to understand it 

and how things go around and what you should do and not do

yes again ... 

Higher education teaches you things about the career you want to go into

but not the things that go behind the curtain 

which are the real things that occur in life

like for example me personally

i have went from one work place to another

in order to try and figure things out

never did i know that life actually can go like this captioned picture (meme)

which i also saw on the web 

courtesy of 9gag (LOL)

as a young adult i know for a fact 

that i personally don't know what i will face in my life

and in my future

for no one has the answers to anything in life

no one knows how things will fall into place

as they fall into place through a divine order 

which we can never really figure out !

but i really do wish that if my education 

geared me more towards handling such situations

yet in life 

i know for sure

you won't be geared for any situation 

unless you face that situation that makes you gear up

to avoid it happening any other time again in the future !

such is life ... 

the relations audit

i believe you have heard the word somewhere

(Audit)

it usually is synonymous with Money !

and accounting activities

and generally defined as 

an evaluation of person, organization,system, process 

enterprise, project, product ... etc

and so its more of an evaluation look towards 

a certain thing 

a more thorough exact inspection 

in order to incur betterment 

to an overall goal 

but have you ever heard of a relations audit ?

some might be doing it knowingly 

and some don't know about it

the term however (relations audit)

is a term only i came up with recently 

(which is free to use by anyone LOL)

due to recent events encountered personally be certain people 

made me realize maybe i need to go through the people i know

and perhaps maybe consider the fact that i would want to continue knowing them?

or perhaps just leave them ?

and that is where the relations audit come into working !

since it is defined as a process of evaluation and (person) 

is included why not do it ?

moreover i decided to take it to action 

* listing of all the people i know

i have listed all the people i know and decided to see

should i continue knowing this certain person or no?

*listing of each person's compilation of qualities 

with each and every single person you know

you would mention and write their qualities 

characteristics, and their behaviors  

*listing of person's qualities in terms of good ones / bad ones

list each person's good and bad things in them

and balance out the good and bad in them

*list the person's history (if there was one)

go through all the things you went with that person you had a relation with

whether its good or bad 

list each and every single situation you have been in 

and each and every single story that has you together

and after all that 

its decision time !

take an evaluative look towards all that you have

compiled with that person

and all that has to do with them

and ask yourself

should you continue with this relation with them?

would they be any good to you some day?

would they improve themselves if they are bad to begin with?

from that you will get to know what to do with those people

and try to figure things out with them 

overall you will be improving yourself

through the people you are surrounded

if you are surrounded with good people or bad people

it will always reflect on you 

and thus comes the reason for the relations audit

to overall improve yourself 

throughout the people you spend your time with

since you are influence partially by the people you are with ! 

Good luck everyone =) 

we need to talk

Truly a terrifying sentence to hear

 ( we need to talk )

the mere thought of it makes you cringe 

and shiver of the fact that you may have done something wrong

and most of the times its because something wrong has happened

or perhaps preventive measures has to be taken in order 

let me share with you all my own personal story

that just happened today

as i returned to my office form a task outside

the person in charge for the office called me in

and said those dreaded words (we need to talk)

and so she sat me down

and started asking questions

next thing you know she is asking me about 

my job and things related to it

and then as the conversation went along 

it was clear she was sharing her own thoughts

about certain shortcomings regarding my job

and that she thought of talking out her concerns

before having troubles coming in

that sort of (we need to talk moments)

are very common and reoccurring in our lives

it can be in our jobs, it can be in our lives

but one thing for sure

sometimes we are faced with either situations

being the one who has to talk

or

being the person who must be talked 

if you ever were the person who has to talk 

*always be soft spoken

*try not to highlight the problem 

*yet do not ignore or go around the problem 

*convey a clear message 

*never (shuffle cards)

and if you were the person to receive the talk 

*be open minded

*do realize that it was as a result of a problem 

*you have the right to choose to either accept what was said

or just ignore all that has been said

*either way you chose from the above point

do also realize that it is because of an issue that has occurred and (the talk) is 

a way of damage control 

* always seek to understand to be understood

with all these points put together

you can overcome the issue 

and mainly discover the root of it

to start over and hopefully reach a solution !

and the goals for this month are (Part 2)

so finally its the month of May 

and we have gone such a long way 

as you have all read recently from my previous 

article about having goals for each month

and so without further delay 

i present to you all my two main goals for this month 

both are set at reasonable and attainable levels

and both are quite fair !

Goals for the month of May

1- start losing weight (HEHE yes i have gone a bit overweight)

2- start going back to video blogging and

keep doing it on a regular basis 

these two simple goals that i have set 

(which of course have more arrangement in the background)

are what i am going to be doing this month

and will be also keeping posted about 

and what are you waiting for?

start setting a goal for yourself today !